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New Trends in Trending

March 31, 2017

Today Nature Publishing House has announced the creation of a new and long overdue journal dedicated to publishing the ‘most hottest’ high impact research. The new magazine, called ‘New Trends in Trending’ is dedicated to publishing results that would not have been otherwise published in any other journal for at least five years into the future. Alongside this so-called ‘hyper-original research’, the new monthly will feature a horoscope, and comes with a lottery to win an Island off the coast of Kamchatka.

“Our aim is the impact factor of 1000” wrote Chief Editor Dr. Quickley R. Lookthrough in his first editorial “and our market study tells us this is how we get there”.

Manuscript submission guidelines require that along with the scientific title of each submitted manscript, the authors provide a ‘clickbait’ version of the title ‘to facilitate the broadest dissemination of to the most general audience possible’. A ‘clickbait’ title is meant to convey the premise of the work, but leave the conclusion concealed such that the reader is encouraged to click on the link to find out more. In order to assist the authors, the following clickbait title examples are provided:

They were measuring a graphene device, and then THIS happened!

Thirty-two line plots with error bars that will blow your mind. (You won’t believe the number seventeen!)

Two electrons did whaaat?

If you are doing science and you are older than 3 and younger than 98 you are in for a big surprise

Jaw-dropping discovery hits the field of dissipative porous multiphase systems like a hurricane

These quantum systems thought nobody was watching…

Why this new scaling theory is breaking the internet

Experimentalists feel stupid for not doing these measurements

Don’t read this if you DO NOT want a Nobel Prize

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